I have found myself waking up in moments throughout the day into this place that feels flat, disconnected, disconnected from so much and so many. And it has been a place that I have not easily been able to simply ‘shift’ out of into a higher frequency, a higher vibration or perspective very quickly. It has called for absolute conscious awareness of it.
Attention to it. Even curiosity.
Perspective is vibration, for what we perceive we confirm into thought. Thoughts are objects, energetic matter. And thoughts also create emotions, and emotions frequently regulate what we experience in the body, and what we experience in the body prompts us into certain kinds of action, behavior.
But, oddly enough, as I heard from others as well who stated, ‘I’ve just not been able to connect these last few days…’ I’ve also heard another voice, another message come through.
And it’s message is very clear: “This too is love…”
At first, I was confused….
How is this love? How am I to claim this too as love?
How could this feeling of ‘flat openness’, a feeling that reminded me of when I was young and had the frequent thought that people weren’t living deeply enough, everyone was simply skimming the surface, not feeling deeply enough, be love? When the world itself felt like ‘cardboard…’
But, “This too is love… This too...is love…” is what I heard.
And as I repeated it to myself something beautiful began to happen. I could feel myself backing up from the feeling, the perception, and saw that it too was part of the Now moment in a beautiful way. This feeling, this flatness, had consciousness in it, was consciousness. It was part of the collective energy field, the collective field that has been wondering where change is, why things aren’t going back or changing faster….
Why it looks in some ways like chaos instead.
It takes a long while for the collective soul, the collective field, to slough off the dead skin, the dead debris, the grey matter that has obscured its expression, its light, from entering consciously into the world….
The grey matter of old perceptual habits, old habitual thought patterns, habitual energetic patterns, habitual sense patterns. It’s not just past events, traumas, beliefs and structures that are being released, but subtle energetic patterns buried deep in the field that we have been less conscious of but have been immensely active in our lives and in how we’ve even been experiencing our awakening, our ascension into higher frequencies, and the evolution of our consciousness.
At times this grey flatness, grey matter, has vacillated between it and a new openness in which I’ve actually found myself momentarily ‘looking’ for old attachments, old thought loops, ideas, and fallback relationship or emotional patterns and ways of being––but they haven’t been there. Haven’t been there in me.
And for a moment, the absence, the detachment from all this actually has made me think, ‘What the hell, am I losing it––where’s my life?”
No. I was not losing it. Am not losing it. I was actually only experiencing the absence of these patterns, attachments, energetic soul contracts, that are no longer active within me. Yes. My immediate thought pattern was to look for the familiar, the familiar that we think is ‘safe’ but has actually kept us stagnant in a no grow zone for quite a while––kept us from fully experiencing who we are, what we are, and our growing potential for change.
And when I recognized myself looking for those things in that way… I immediately backed off, stopped looking, stopped trying to feel into those patterns, feelings, sensations.
I took a deep breath instead. And another. And another….
Inhale, “I am….” And exhale, “I can….” Inhale, “I am…” and exhale, “I can…”
“This too is love…. This…too…is love….”
The willingness to let the old slough off, fall away in the deepest recesses of our brains…. The willingness to allow myself to experience the openness, stand in the beautifully lit starkness of what’s possible on the other-side of that flatness, that veil of grey matter sloughing off.
Energy consciousness phenomena precedes the physical, precedes form.
The initial experience of deep, broad openness in the absence of the old, the familiar, can make us literally ask, ‘Where is my life?” because we don’t recognize things the way they were. Or, we actually see things and no longer want them, need them, or think we need them. And that can be startling for many. But what it is also really offering us is the clear space for creativity––for the New to be brought forth. Not by anyone else, but by each and every one of us.
Every one of us.
We’ve got six planets in Aquarius. Two in Taurus. The new is anchoring in energetically at the deepest subterranean levels of our Being and it's opening up. It’s here to stay––pushing out the old. And it’s not comfortable. It’s making room for itself––for us to be creative in.
We’re not going backwards. The grey matter is sloughing off. And we’re seeing just how inert and lifeless it’s become. The space for the New is anchoring in. The question is: Will we be creative enough to allow ourselves to move forward with love, with tenderness, as the old sloughs off.
Will we allow ourselves to not only dream of, but grow a more equitable, loving, and kinder human field of Being in which we all thrive–or will we cling to the old and die with it?
And can we allow ourselves to live without fear in the un-knowingness of what the future looks like long enough for all of us to truly be creative, to blossom into creativity? To lean forward into it and its possibilities like fresh shoots of grass leaning towards the light–instead of being uprooted and toppled over like shallow rooted trees?
This too is love. Sloppy, grey matter sloughing off….
Love what we have had. Recognize its beauty and pain and suffering and let it go.
It’s been a part of all of us….