The Past in the Present: A Thousand Hours in A Thousand Moments

Updated: Jan 28, 2019

California. Old trees. Old, old Valley Oaks. Rolling hills. A veil of green verdure laid lightly over the land. A soft, deep energy to be welcomed into.

The ranch is a refuge for animals from situations of neglect, mistreatment, and abandonment– all brought here by court ordered injunctions. Lowing cows, pigs that roam–sheep, goats, ducks, chickens, horses. This morning, I woke early and went for a glass of water–out the window, a troupe of pigs were making their way to a greener pasture. Yesterday morning, it was a flock of sheep. They were heading south on the property; the pigs heading northeast.

Each morning, I introduce Ruby to a new species: we sit and just look, watch—the pigs, the sheep, or the cows. To watch, see, attend to without the need to ‘run after’. Her young body quivers, and then finally, there’s a sigh that relaxes her shoulders and she sinks back into herself, into her body. And the need to spring forward, to spring after, is let go. We walk away then, and then I have her sit and release her from her leash. She is learning to be a part of, a part of the community, rather than chase, herd, pursue. Yesterday, she and a pig met and smelled each other so closely their noses touched.

To be a part of, present to, rather than pursue, catch, dominate.

I didn’t know I was coming this way through California. I didn’t know when I began this journey, I would be invited to this beautiful land of refuge and calm, grace and history. But when B. invited me, I knew it was a simple ‘Yes. Of course…”.

I met B. at a Paul Selig workshop in Asilomar almost three years ago. She sat on one side of this large room we were all seated around in a circle. I sat on the other. But each morning, each session, we would look at each other, and almost without cue, it was as if we were saying to each other, “OK. Let’s get this group focused, calmed, quieted, for the presence of Paul and the Guides.” It turns out, I later learned she was a longtime meditator—in the tradition of Zen Buddhism–a meditative practice I too have long participated in. But the beautiful thing is, we never ‘did’ anything. We never said anything. We simply became ‘present’—a part of the present moment in stillness, and little-by-little that presence would radiate through the room as others joined in, and the moment opened, and the deepness opened.

There was no ‘doing’, only being. Allowing ourselves to become present. Allowing ourselves to be attentive to the moment.

And that is how “I knew her”–we walked to breakfast as I recall only once or twice. But when her invitation came only days after I left Woodstock, I said, “Yes.” Without hesitation. At moments driving, I heard myself say to myself, “But you really don’t even know this woman” and another part of me, my higher self said, “Stop it. You know her…You know exactly who she is.” And when I arrived here, we embraced and began our conversation as if there had only been a moment’s pause–not almost three years….and hours in which we only knew each other through silence, listening.

We all have these moments of meeting someone and knowing them far more deeply than we can possibly express. It is the knowing of our energetic, sentient bodies, aligning to those of the same frequency, the same vibration. It doesn’t matter if in appearance, circumstance, social standing, culture they ‘appear’ different. It is the energetic connection, alignment, that opens the path, that paves the way. We need only be present to it and connection happens. So now I am getting the opportunity to know B. in other ways–as a dancer, creator, mother, and animal rights worker. And farm animal keeper.

So many times, we experience connection, and then we second guess ourselves, we doubt our knowing and start reminding ourselves in our minds all the things we’ve been taught about class, culture, family, politics, social relations, and our past hurts or disappointments—all those limiting, delineating, or hurtful constructs and beliefs. But it is our ‘knowing’ that leads us to greater abundance, joy, love, and connection. We need only allow ourselves to be present to this knowing. Be in its presence energetically, and without question, abundant and loving connection occurs.

Being present…allowing…


There is a moment, somewhere, in one of Paul Selig’s channeled texts in which the Guides say, “The energetic presence of every person, every being that has crossed the land, in any particular place on earth, is still present–is still there to be felt, known, and even released, if necessary.

Lee Harris and the “Zs” frequently say it is the ancient you in the future you, experienced through the present moment that we can know.

And the Mindful Heart reminds us, “It’s only a breath away…only a breath away…”

Carl Jung would call it a part of the collective unconscious, our collective history, ancestry.

But so many of us instead, we measure our lives in the simple hours we are here on earth, from point A. to point B. and on through Z. or what we refer to as ‘death’. It’s what we can grasp with our minds. But our bodies, our sentient, energetic bodies are connected to both the ancient and the future, and if we clear out all the distractions, we can experience, feel these. We can feel the depth of living that has occurred, is occurring, on the land.

A simple law of quantum physics.

Time, as we know, is a construct–it doesn’t exist outside ourselves in some linear movement, motion. And when we allow ourselves to experience the understanding of this, time opens up–the past and the future they’re here right now in the present. And we feel it–but so many of us forget to live as though we know this. We make decisions as if we don't know this, and the repetition of errors, pain, history repeats....

But many are beginning to consciously know this. And we are beginning to understand, sense, know, what this might mean for us as individual conscious beings. Beginning to truly understand it’s not “Woo Woo”, but the nature of our being, the nature of the universe: that we are first energetic sentient beings and can know each other first through our energetic bodies, that we can know a place in both its past and future aspects energetically, and know ourselves and each other this way too–our ancient selves in our future selves through the present moment.



I have spoken of him so frequently. I bring him up, and all his journeying across the land to unite First Nation tribes. I bring him up because I first became aware of his presence, as I wrote in “The Open Door”, in Costa Rica–as part of an even much larger unified energetic body of ancient and more recent First Nation tribes from around the world. His presence has been so present for me at moments on this journey.

And I had not been aware of him, known of him, before Costa Rica in 2017.

Leaving Fresno and heading into the Sacramento Valley, I became so aware of the presence of him and the past again–First Nation song, feet, dance, and a migratory movement over the land. And particularly song–it rang out of my body as I drove, it wanted to voice over the fields, the orchards, the miles of tilled fields. It raised my throat to the sky… a presence that has been here for over 10,000 years–a presence much deeper than our Hispanic and European journeying. And I could feel it, know it, as I drove, as I paused, stopped, and stood looking out over the acres and acres of farms, even as semi-trucks and cars wove by in a stream of hurry.