When I first began channeling I was bombarded with so many doubts and fears––was this truly happening, could I trust this information, guidance, and what would others think. How could I integrate this into who I was and what I was doing… Was there anyone who could help me confirm my connection, that I actually wasn't simply going crazy?
I had so many doubts, fears, and uncertainties…. And what was I to do with the ‘vibrational songlines’ that were also coming through only months later and were so far outside of my ken, so outside my experience of what ‘communication was’ that I sometimes felt, perhaps I'd gone around the bend. Tones, sounds, songs that used no words…and yet, they were and are very healing for myself and many others.
Coming from the academic world, channeling was the last thing I’d have thought of myself doing and way out of my comfort zone. But one day, on a long trip back from Jordan, I landed in D.C. and waited for my last connecting flight to take me home to upstate New York. I was tired, and it was hot. I, along with others, were waiting in one of those auxiliary terminals for shorter connections and smaller planes. The ones where you walk out onto the tarmac and climb a jet-way ladder to board.
Once onboard the plane, I settled into the seat, feeling lucky not to have anyone next to me. The airline steward was chatting with someone in the front row. I pushed my bag under the seat and laid my head back. It was then I heard a voice, "Get off the plane, Allannah." I startled and looked around to see who was talking to me. There was no one. Then I heard it again, 'Get off the plane, Allannah." And just then an announcement came on announcing that take off was going to be delayed--there was a problem with some part related to one of the wing engines.
There was a collective sigh emitted from the passengers.
Then once more I heard, "Get off the plane, Allannah."
At that moment, I realized the voice was both inside and outside of me, and that I was clearly hearing a voice--but lucky for me it appeared no one else was.
But something else also occurred too--almost equally as startling at that time--after I adjusted to the fact that I was indeed hearing a clear voice. I heard my own voice inside me replying, 'If there is something wrong with this flight, this plane, then I can't get off the plane by myself. I can't leave these people. And if I say something, the airlines will simply escort me off for fear of scaring others. I can't leave these people. I'm staying with them." And as I looked around, I realized I could suddenly see into these people, saw them and what was going on in their lives--the elderly woman in the same row as me across the aisle who had just come from visiting her two grandsons in D.C. and was heading back north, her husband at home resting in his recliner; the stewardess in a fight with her mother about 'meeting someone'--she couldn't feel the worry, tenderness and love of her mother that I felt pouring through. I wanted to say to her, "It's Ok. Your mother loves you."... And there were more, everyone around me suddenly seemed as transparent and readable as that 'proverbial open book'.
A deep shiver ran through my body, and suddenly my heart felt such an incredible love for every one of these human beings on the plane. I suddenly felt so connected to every one of them as I looked around, and I found myself saying again inside, 'Whoever you are, I can't leave them. If the plane goes down, I go with them...." I don't know who was more shocked by my words--the voice I was hearing or me as I teared up realizing the profound truth of what I was saying.
But then, I got the most incredible response in the most loving voice: "Allannah, you are so loved, you are loved, you are loved. We love you dearly. You came here to fulfill a purpose and many have been unable to do so are now being called back. You have one year--know that we love and support you--we recognize all that you have done already, and we are here to support you in deeper ways at every moment...."
At that moment, the airline captain announced once more that there would be an additional 30 minute delay because they had decided to replace the part. I assured the woman next to me, obviously now anxious after two delay announcements, that everything would be fine. "We'll be fine," I said, and smiled at her as I reached out and touched her arm.
The even odder thing was, when I got off the plane over two hours later after finding landing upstate, a man behind me whom I had not talked to at all got up and turned to me and said, "Thank you..." The woman across the aisle said "Thank you" as she de-boarded. One after the other, passengers kept thanking me and smiling--and the truth was, I had no idea why.....
When I got home, I decided I was just overly tired having been on the road and working in refugee camps and organizing meetings for days--the experience was so outside of my ken. I slept for hours and the next afternoon went into work. The day after, I worked with no occurrences, so I decided to scratch it up as some sort of waking dream and exhaustion. Except that I couldn't forget what had been said about 'one year'. Somehow I felt the deep, deep truth of that in every fibre of my body.
It was only a few days later when driving down to NYC that I experienced what seemed like another moment out of time. I had a flat tire on the George Washington Bridge and a man appeared out of nowhere and told me to stay in my car and asked if I had a spare in back. I shook my head yes, opened the back, and he walked back to get the tire with cars streaming by. Startled and frustrated, I realized I was going to be late for a meeting I organized!
In that moment, I heard the voice again, "Take out some paper, Allannah, we want to speak..."
In the time it took to get my flat tire changed, I channeled ten pages of written material by hand.
When the man came back to my window, he said, "You're all set." I asked him how much I owed him, and he smiled saying, "This one's on me..." Startled once more, and moved by this generosity and his voice and its tone, I slowly merged back into the bridge traffic thinking I was going to be so late--as surely some time passed if I'd handwritten ten pages of material. But when I arrived at 53rd street, entered the building and went upstairs to lead the meeting I myself had organized, I expected to see everyone already seated waiting, but to my surprise, I was the first one there. Literally dumbfounded, I counted the pages again because knew I was a slow writer and there was not way I could have hand-written this number of pages in the 20 minutes I originally had.
"How could it be?" I asked. "What happened to that time?...
I came to channeling because it just ‘spontaneously’ happened for me––but it was also made clear to me, it was something I had to choose, to be with, to nurture and to allow to come into fullness. In fact, I didn’t even know what channeling was until a friend encouraged me to start attending some workshops at the Omega Institute.
I participated in medium workshops, intuitive workshops, and more….but none spoke directly to this until after almost giving up, a friend suggested I attended a channeling session by Paul Selig offered at the Omega Institute. When he began, my whole body, my entire being responded and I heard, ‘You see, it is for real. And each of you have your own style, connection, and purpose….’ It was the first time I’d seen or heard anyone channel––it was that far from being in my reality.
But I was also suddenly overcome with a love I couldn't begin to describe.
I then was quickly guided to other channels–– to see and learn from their connections to the higher consciousnesses they connected with, to understand the uniqueness of who we each are as channels, and to gain confidence in what I myself was bringing through—that in fact, though with its own unique focus on embodiment, many of the messages aligned with channels I had come to highly respect, regard and felt were completely in their highest truth as they channeled.
My connection to The Mindful Heart and The Council of Ancient Ones has ended up being the most wonderful blessing in my life.
As an academic who oversaw a program called 'Language and Thinking,' opening to channeling was not so hard, but allowing it and believing it from the mind's perspective was a challenge like no other. There was a lot of trial and error, resistance, loads of ‘am I just making this up’ and plenty of ‘How do I know if I’m doing this right?’
But continually, I was compassionately guided through so many fears to gain the confidence in connection that helped me and nurtured me and has continued to teach me so very much to this day. And to those who first first ventured forward to be a part of the dialogue with The Mindful Heart, I am immensely and profoundly grateful for everything they showed me, taught me as they began to respond to what was brought forth. It hasn't been a 'fast' development--in spite of the initial experience. Maybe I just needed that experience so that it made an impact enough on me so I would respond. Channeling can also just come to us as a deep draw or sense of being compelled--we can feel called, lightly, lovingly, and uncertainly.
We don't have to have the kind of experience I did. In fact, it's probably better not to.
Whatever the case, I feel I am The Mindful Heart's toughest and slowest student--but I am also there with all my being as they continue to show me and others much about embodiment. I continue to be moved by the deepness of the connection, the loving presence of their felt Being, connection. As they have said, "We are you--from a higher plane, a future time. You are drawn to us, because you are drawn to the truth of who You are. We are not separate, we are simply outside of form from multiple dimensions and are here to assist you in revealing more of your Self to yourself."
You are drawn to us, because you are drawn to the truth of who You are. We are not separate, we are simply outside of form from multiple dimensions and are here to assist you in revealing more of your Self to yourself. ––The Mindful Heart